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Parenting Towards Independence: Setting Rules for Teenagers Family Articles | March 17 Gerald Henderson Jersey , 2009
How successful your child is when they move out and become independent is a measure of your parenting skill. Setting rules and expectations for your teenager will help prepare them for that day.


What are good rules and rewards for teenagers? Why do we bother putting rules into place? Limits and guidelines during adolescence are an important part of getting the budding adult ready to leave home. During this preparation time, keeping focused on the end result (a successful adult) is important. When presenting and negotiating rules with your adolescent, begin by exploring the potential results of successfully following guidelines.

Here?s what your list might look likeYou?ve reached maturity when?
You choose to be with family and engage politely with them during family time.
You manage your own homework and schooling.
You develop good solid friendships: e.g. consistent, caring and respectful.
You balance your needs versus your wants: e.g. schooling versus electronics.
You spend time every day engaging in housework on your own.
You take care of your own stuff such as doing your own laundry and cleaning up after yourself.
You manage your own schedule (academic, work Frank Jackson Jersey , home, social).
You take care of your body by exercising regularly, your nutrition by making good food choices and your mind by giving yourself relaxingreflective time.
You manage your own money for entertainment, activities, and clothing by keeping a checkbook and budget.
You work outside the home to earn and contribute to your own care.
You manage your time and inform your parents in detail and beforehand about your plans and schedule.
You can cook basic meals.
You volunteer for your community. Do all of the above and you?ve achieved INDEPENDENCE and maturity!

Clearly all of these skills do not have to be accomplished for an adolescent to move away from home and succeed Dahntay Jones Jersey , but the majority of parents that I work with want nothing more than to raise a well-balanced and independent child. In the meantime, however, parents have to set rules that slowly but surely move the child toward independence. Rule categories might include: family time, academic expectations, use of electronics Chase Jeter Jersey , household responsibilities, personal responsibilities, financial responsibilities, social limits, mind and body responsibilities Brennan Besser Jersey , community responsibilities. Here?s what the rules might look like for a 13-15 year old.

Rules: the following are our expectations to help guide you toward adulthood.

Family time is a priority. We have one day a week exclusively for our family as well as family meals on Tuesday and Thursday.
All homework, exercise and chores must be done before electronics are used.
__ (you decide) hour(s) worth of homework or studying Monday-Thursday and on Saturday so you keep up with projects as well as an understanding of the class material.
We expect some form of exercise for physical and mental health including walks, sports, and other exercise programs.
We encourage quiet time for reading and reflecting.
We encourage no junk food during the weekdays.
All electronics are off during family time.
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